Advent (or, the biggest exercise in delayed gratification a toddler could be asked to endure)

December 1, 2012 by 2 Comments

 I decided to invest a little money and time (really, though, it was only about an hour) into making an Advent Calendar that we can use again and again. We will hang these glittery boards each Christmas Season and count down the days with glee.

First I lay out each of the clothes pins on my two boards. Charlie would have measure then, I didn’t, they still turned out darling. I hot glued each one in place.

Then I added elmers to the tops of the clothes pins and Nolie added the glitter.

 

Then I worked on making my list and plans for our advent days. And then using glitter and a bunch of cute cards and bags we had laying around, we made our advent calendar!

Nolie helped to brainstorm ideas, and I am really happy with how it turned out. We had to hang it up HIGH so that the little gifts and cards aren’t reachable for little hands, but I think that this will be a really exciting way for us to celebrate the season.

Some of the days on our advent include;

big family breakfast to talk about what grace and advent mean

a winter walk to collect pine cones, leaves, rocks, and other exciting winter treasures

walking to the donut shop and picking out a sprinkle donut

making Christmas cookies to deliver to a friend

jingle bells and puff balls that are ready to thread onto a festive necklace

a date with Papa

a family trip to Menchies

some little wooden letters to decorate

picking up coffee and cocoa to deliver to a friend who could use a boost

gingerbread house making

and, of course, reading The Christmas Story

 

Filed Under: DIY, glad list

thankful interruption {nineteen}

November 19, 2012 by 2 Comments

Those days when it just overwhelms. The out serving. The glances over the tops of tiny blonde heads that crawl and bob between us. The huge fill up of love, closeness, covenant, chosen, just the right love. Today I am thankful for my everyday husband. That these feelings aren’t rare. That his loving actions don’t surprise, they supply the scaffolding for our hearts to keep climbing. Charlie, you are it. Thank you so much.

Filed Under: glad list, growing, marriage

{week one}

November 7, 2012 by Leave a Comment

{one} Thankful today for easy access to advice nurses. A husband who is willing to take a moment from his work day to help/feed/love his girls and a netflix account that may very well save the day.

{two} breastmilk, trusting my body, and a little lady who is crawling around getting into mischief already. Also, a finished order for our shop, and lots of super exciting Christmas shop ideas!

{three} My darling six month old who uttered her very first word sound this morning. And yes, it was Mama(mama). I am in love and couldn’t feel closer to bursting with this little lady.

{four} forgiveness, coffee, and soft-chewy-coconutty-perfect chocolate chip cookies.

{five} an independent little lady who wants to do it all herself. I love how confident, secure, loving, and friendly Nolie is. She makes friends everywhere, plays hard and then tells me all about it in the cutest voice I have ever heard. I love my almost three year old in all her glory.

{six} a husband who will cuddle/rock/play with and love on the baby when she is teething and sick, even if the chance for that comes at the inopportune hours of 2-4:30am. I am thankful for a husband who knows, understands, and believes that parenting is a 24 hour job for the Mom and the Dad. ♥

{six.five} baby wearing. Because without it we would all be crying 99% of the time. On this (sick baby) day, I couldn’t hold it together without a carrier to ease the burden. It might not always be pretty, but it is always cozy up in here.

{seven} watching Obamas acceptance speech with my sweet daughter and her incredible commentary. “He said America! He is a president?? The Papa of where we live!!!!” Also thankful for his powerful words and to be standing, grinning, and crying with my husband as we listened.

 

Filed Under: glad list

Thankful for: The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies

November 4, 2012 by 1 Comment

Today was a rough one. Charlie and I are learning how to work together, instead of divide and conquer. Typically- I run the home (and he helps out wherever I ask/he see’s needs some help) and he works outside of the home. Having this little shop is stretching us- We have to work together and communicate in new ways. We also have some budget wiggle room for the first time in ages and figuring out how to spend/not spend that money is a new place for us to be.

Anyhow, we spend the morning discussing/turmoiling/Target shopping (the begining and end of most arguments). When we came home (and continued disparing at each other) we needed something to redeem. I had seen a tip on pintrest that I wanted to try out (using cornstarch instead of basking powder in Chocolate Chip cookies) and Nolie was in need of some good one on one attention. So to the kitchen we went.

And thus, The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies, were born.

After eating a couple of these. Hugging and kissing as much as we can between one crawling around our toes and one trying to climb us- everything looked and felt a little brighter.

Preheat oven to 350 (make sure it is fully preheated before adding cookies)

8tbs melted coconut oil

5tbs softened  butter

1 cup sugar (I used a combo of white and brown but you can do either it still works out)

2 eggs

2 teaspoon vanilla

2.5 cups flour

1/2 cup whole rolled oats

1 teaspoon baking soda (disolved in two tsp. hot water)

1 teaspoon cornstarch

2 cups chocolate chips (or, you know, more)

1. Cream butter, coconut oil, and sugar till smooth. Add eggs one at a time. Stir in flour and oats ( I used my kitchenaid on the lowest setting) and cornstarch.  Add vanilla and dissolved baking soda. Stir in chocolate chips.

2. Spoon onto baking sheet and sprinkle with coarse (or table if that is all you have) salt and bake for 8-10 min (don’t over bake!).

3. Eat them all up. Seriously.

 

 

Filed Under: family, food, glad list

<3

October 10, 2012 by 1 Comment

I have been phoneless for a couple of days ( lost it in the Target parking lot but got a CALL last night from it, miraculously found!) and it has been a thowback to high school. I sat in front of my computer while Nolie read and Ever slept (on me) and just.kept.refreshing. And then his email popped up, he was on chat!, swoon! We chatted, “I miss your voice”, “I love you more”, ok… not really. But really. So much love for that man.

that smile. that face.

love.

Filed Under: glad list, marriage

Charlie.

October 5, 2012 by 2 Comments

Light glows around the bathroom door and I can hear little feet jumping and (splashing) bounding around the room.

“Papa you know about stories?”

yes little one, tell me a story?

“Once upon a time there was carrots and radish, TINY bunnies!” (and the story goes on)

Bedtime is late tonight, she is very tired but not near as tired as he is. His night before was spent working late hours, taking a quick shower and then waking to her cries at 2am “Papa, papa come in here. Papa come cuddle me.” and he answers. And works again the next day. Because it is a short window of time that your eldest daughter will ask to be held all night. Because answering her needs is his job and he takes it very seriously. Because her need is bigger than his. Because he just loves her so much.

The door pops open and a stark naked tiny girl is giggling hard, gap tooth and wet bangs. “Papa, you know I like cat pajamas? You know its cold enough for FLEECE!”

“Yes sweet girl, lets get your jammies on and you can pick some books.”

The ritual isn’t rushed. Even though the afternoon was full of meltdowns; The baby screams and the wife cries. Even though the biggest little girl didn’t eat any dinner and poured water all over the bathroom floor. Despite it all, his love and willingness to show it is unfaltering. No “time outs” were had. No “because I said so” ‘s were uttered,  his somehow unending patience fills all of us with evening smiles and twinkling eyes.

The baby settles  to nurse into sleep. The light around the bathroom door gone and the rosy nightlight lamp fills Nolies room. They read. And read. Then lay down to sleep, only she wants to sleep with her head on the opposite end of the bed than typical. “That’s a pretty silly way to sleep, but lets do it!” Papa says yes. Papa defaults to yes. He hears her, knows there is a little extra work for him and yet, “yes.”

Minutes later I hear them both. Matching sleep sounds. Groans and snores. I go to extract Charlie and Nolie is cuddled up on his collar bone in the very spot he has our tattoo- “One”- it carries much more weight now. Isn’t just Charlie and I as one. It is the word for our family, we are one. Held up by God, our only One. Inspired to parent with grace, empathy and love.

Our little family is One. 

 

Also, if you are interested in some of the parenting changes we are making, here is an article that give some information. Also, the book that we recently read and are gaining a lot of inspiration from is Unconditional Parenting, I highly recommend reading it.

Filed Under: family, glad list, marriage

Thankful.

September 27, 2012 by 2 Comments

This has been a really rough season and a particularly hard week. Each day it looks a little darker. But once I retreat into that hole-of-dark I stop looking for the light. And there is a lot of light.

Today Nolie (wholly unprompted) apologized to her friend, he apologized to her and they hugged and played so well and with so much love. And it felt like All The Work that seems too unending and unrewarding… it was worth that moment. All the talking it thorough, letting her direct herself, explaining how I feel and giving her the responsibility and the time to come to her own feelings without prompting, it felt so worth that moment. That was light.

Ever holding hands with her baby friend. That was light.

Food on my front porch more times than I can count from friends who know, get it, and have been there. That was light.

Charlie holding me, answering his phone always, taking time off for sick kids, hearing me- really hearing me. That is light.

A God who lets stuff get hard but never forgets, never turns away and is here and in this moment and all the dark ones too. He is light.

 

Filed Under: family, glad list, growing, home, parenting, snapshot

a “me time” challenge.

August 14, 2012 by 3 Comments

After reading Flux I had so many thoughts, so much bumping around in me and the need for one of those conversations.

The conversations that last so long and take ages to get to the point. The ones that the light fades and emphatic whispers bump up against babies fussing. Then hushed tones are exchanged across the distance of a bed separated by a warm little baby nursing and as the words fall out and the minutes rush by it is impossible not to count away the moments of sleep that you are missing. But it still feels worth it. Very worth it.

In Flux the author talks about the satisfaction level in marriages going down with each child, and that in specific , satisfaction with intimacy in marriage drops dramatically until those kids are grown and out of the house. Later in the novel the writer tells of women who have had affairs and that each of them references “feeling like herself” and “finding herself again” as a reason for the infidelities. She also draws the conclusion that the more you know yourself the more intimacy in marriage and satisfaction you will find.

In all of this intimacy seems to be a code word for sex, and while I believe  this rings painfully true I also think that it is in reference to all intimacy. Those hard conversations that go late into the night, dates that end in feeling more known and loved and time spent together that isn’t used purely for strategy; of how to get through the day (and night) with kids.

Motherhood and the need for “me time” seem to go hand in hand now. In every circle of Mom friends I am a part of that is a buzz phrase- me time. Are you getting it? How much? When? Is it equal with your spouse? and on, and on, and on. And I get it. I need it. We all need it. Badly.

But where I find it and carve it out needs to change.  I have spent the past few months feeling like I need MORE and more of it. I need it under specific parameters- there are no kids, I am somewhat rested, I can indulge in something that I typically couldn’t and I won’t be disturbed. Those desires are laughable and nearly unattainable in our current stage of life, but yet they are affirmed by endless Moms. Because we all want it, can’t get it and then feel more unknown that we did before. Unknown by our spouses and unknown to ourselves.

I have decided to challenge myself to shift  my focus. To not trivialize the time I do get because they “aren’t long enough” or weren’t out of the house. I am making a goal to find me time in dishes, Facebook, laundry and those few minutes in the shower in the evenings. To find couple time in the hour that both girls are asleep at night without us- to not check out, not turn on a computer and actually talk and look at each other. To now and be known for not only the sake of sex, but for the love of intimacy.

Overall I am a thankful person. I don’t want for much of anything and I am very aware of how privileged that is. But I have let this monster creep into me that seems to roar “more time! I need it!” and sits on a crutch of “better wife and better Mom”- making it almost a threat to Charlie. If I don’t get that time I will be unbearable.

So I am shaking that off. I am giving validity to that time and acknowledging that need but I am also taking it where I can and not demanding it be bestowed upon me in heaps, because all that breeds in me is discontent and cries of “not enough! more!”.

Today I am feeling challenged and filled. Filled by 20 minutes spent in front of my computer putting words out that percolated on a pleasant walk with my ladies. Feeling filled by this time even though there is no wine, there is a babe suckling away and a girl reading loudly close by.

This can be me time. Alone with my hands in the warm suds and the dark taking over the sky. Piling veggies in a crockpot as the sun peeks up. Pouring a cup of coffee that will be cold before it is finished, I can savor one sip. Watering the garden and hearing the spray hit the house and bounce back on my bare legs.  This can be life giving and fulfilling if only I give it the chance.

 

Filed Under: glad list, growing, home

taking a beat

December 19, 2011 by 4 Comments

I am getting overwhelmed… we are having an over booked Holiday season. Between parties, family, work, a silly toddler who runs around our house like a Christmas Nut 90% of the time and a big Giving Tree obligation I took on (more on that soon!) we are running on empty.

It feels so easy to turn this into frustration, resentment and anger with Charlie. Not because he is to blame but because he is who I am closest to and most comfortable with. Luckily, thanks to loads of counseling, we are both pretty awesome at bringing up our frustrations (even if they are super minor) and not letting them fester and grow into something ugly and painful for the both of us. For example, it is easy for me to hang on to minor stuff like leaving a dish in the sink, playing sudoko instead of straightening up or neglecting to help clean up after dinner (by the way those are all rare occurrences). I take each one and pack it away for the next fight so that I can unload all(lllll) the ways I am justified in my anger. It is a mess. The other night we were driving home (from an awesome surprise party for my MIL) and we got to talking about what we can be doing to be sure not to fall into that space of discontent ( a space that becomes a gaping hole during the Holidays). The crux is thankfulness.

We come back to this over and over (and over and over) again. We are blessed beyond anything and provided for so abundantly and further than we could ever dream of deserving. But I am still such a punk that I need to remind myself of this time and time again. Thankfulness lists are a great way to do this. So without further ado- my Thankfulness List on this packed-busy-full Season.

this skirt and my growling little lady!

1. Nolie saying “I love you” without prompting while we nursed and cuddled last night.

2. Charlie getting up early and cleaning the house so that I wake up to a beautiful, candles lit, Christmas tree glowing home.

3. A kicking baby who is growing-growing-growing.

4. Giving beyond what feels comfortable and seeing others doing the same.

5. Easy DIY projects and crafting with sweet Noele.

6. A fully homemade Christmas!

7. Roasting a whole chicken with lots of root veggies and onions.

8. Vanilla Salt  on everything sweet (so far, cookies, cinnamon rolls and brownies…yum)

9. Nolies total love for her Grandma, Grandpa, Nana and Grandpa Charlie. She loves without any bounds… it is magic.

10. Candy Cane tea and dark chocolate as an afternoon snack

11. New maternity clothes and finding a style that  makes me feel good about myself and not like a big oaf!

This list could go on and on and on… I adore it. Feeling lighter and brighter after writing these all the time! No matter how menial and silly or deep and weighty the points are, they turn me around and in the right direction. Do you write these? If you put one on your blog, comment here so I can visit it!

a silly silly big sister who is OBSESSED with photo booth!

Filed Under: glad list

grateful.

November 24, 2011 by 3 Comments

simple pleasures

big breakfasts and darling toddlers

enjoying a cup of coffee slowly

walking up my front steps with christmas lights and a tree framed in my sweet homemade wreath

holiday smells- cider, pumpkin and currently the cheese cake baking in the oven

mothers who what to help other mothers just because they care not because they have much extra

giving out of your own lack

Nolie napping for the first time in six days and doing so peacefully in my lap

her eye lashes and little lips

Charlie doing dishes

a good cry

tiny babies

being excited about our own tiny baby

how awesome at independent play Nolie is

chalkboards

tiny tights-footed feet

that little who nose.

 

I am also so thankful for readers and friends (and family!) who comment, care, share and give of their very near to their heart birth stories. You women are powerful and incredible, thank you for commenting and passing on sage mama wisdoms. (check the comments on my last post if you don’t know what I am talking about)

Filed Under: glad list
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