Just a couple more pounds. Just till the stretch marks fade a bit. Just till I look a little bit less gross. Six months came and went. And I waited. I have had these pictures ready to share for nearly 9months, but I was too scared to take my own to add to the pack.
But then I read this post tonight, and you should too. And I realized. There is no time like right now to start telling my girls that I am beautiful, and more than that, I need to mean it.
Beautiful isn’t fitting back into my jeans. It isn’t looking like I did before I had children. It isn’t even looking like I did before I had Nolie. It is so much bigger than any of that.
It is how Nolie traces my stretch marks and talks to me about how she hopes to have them one day.
It is how Charlie’s arm fits perfectly around my waist, right now. At this place and this size.
It is at 6am when I have nursed Ever all night long and Nolie climbs into bed and latches on, and the milk comes in.
It is how I feel in my dress and tall boots.
It is the reawakening of muscles I thought were dormant at the end of a long run.
It is my girls. Is it my motherhood. It is this body, today.
Beautiful is loving myself, being vocal about it, and encouraging other women to get out of their self hate ruts and find the beauty in right now.
Beautiful is the boldness in these photos.
Beautiful is birth. One baby, twins, c-sections, and home births. Every birth is represented in these photos and they are beautiful.
Beautiful are these Mamas. Mamas who stay home, Mamas who work, Mamas whose babies are grown and having babies of their own, and Mamas whose babies were taken too soon. Motherhood is beautiful.
Beautiful is taking the leap.
I stood in my room in my bra and pajamas aching to throw this post away. Not wanting to own the words that I know are true because they feel so wrong to adopt- I am beautiful. I am beautiful because Mothers (period.) are. My Mother is striking. Her beauty is evident in her actions, her eyes, her smile, her movements, how she loves, and her body- her body that mine mirrors. Hourglass shape, short strong legs, perfect Whoville nose, and bright green eyes. I am beautiful because my mother is beautiful. I am beautiful because my girls are beautiful. And because of my girls, I am bold. I am strong, empowered, and ready to be full of bravery.
On the left is my belly 7mo PP from Nolie, on the right is me 5.5mo PP from Ever. I was waiting on this post till I looked like “before”. I was waiting on the impossible because I am nothing like I was before. Just like when I had Nolie, I have been reborn again into a new Mother. A Mama of two. And a that is beautiful.
Tomorrow I will get dressed in clothes that highlight my favorite parts. Tomorrow I will grin instead of smile and I will twirl with Nolie. Tomorrow I will remind my girls that we are one beautiful family.