(photo from our newborn session! I’ll be posting more soon, but check it out here )
On Friday Ever turned six weeks old. Anyone who has had a baby knows that six weeks is when you are OK. . . right? Six weeks and you can work out again, have sex again and should be ready to do all of that. Right.
To me six weeks is right when the hormones all collide and the birth buzz has worn off. It is when you feel normal but still look so abnormal. It is when I start trying on old clothes and lamenting that they don’t pull up past my knees. . . six weeks is a hard one.
I went to my last (don’t get me started on how heartbreaking that is) midwife appointment and weighed in. I gained 50 pounds this pregnancy and at one week PP I had lost 30. I stood on the scale and ticked up the pounds and felt a cold wave of shock. I had gained back 10 pounds. I shouldn’t be shocked considering the quantity of food I have been eating but I was completely shocked. I left feeling defeated but my sweet husband brought me back to reality. He gave me kind words, gentle words, and reminded me of how I would treat and what I would expect of a 6 week PP Mom. I need to use those same words for myself. So I am. I am trying to at least.
This time around I have a plan. And I didn’t drag my feet. I started keeping an online food journal to account for what I put in my mouth. Sleep deprivation and some ups and downs emotionally send me straight to snacking and having a place to be accountable to what I eat has been really helpful. I also started in on Stroller Strides classes. They are killer, work all muscle groups and connect me with other Moms and, best of all, Nolie and Ever can come with me. The final step I am taking is to get back into running.
This evening I went for a run. It was only 10 minutes and only a mile. But it felt like a break, silence filled with silly pop music, time just for me. I felt so light.
I am not quite ready to do the PP belly post. . . I am not there yet. But I have all the faith in the world that speaking gentle words and putting some care into my body will yield results. Maybe not weight loss, but strength gained and loving myself a little bit more.
So, here I go. For accountability’s sake I am going to keep this going. Let this blog be a journal of this journey. Today is day four and I am feeling hopeful.