I had a midwife appointment a couple of days ago. I stood on the scale and saw the numbers tick up-up-up (luckily alone).I am currently sitting at the same weight I was when I DELIVERED Nolie…
30 weeks (not 38)
I want to practice what I preach. I want to be OK with this and know that I am active, healthy and growing just right. But the number is a hang up for me… obviously, I have written about this eleventybillion times. Maybe the baby is bigger? Maybe it is because I am still making some milk? Maybe? maybe… maybe?? All I know is that this is a battle for me and stretching me. Making me turn my thoughts to things that are FAR more important, things like family, planning our birth, playing with Nolie and loving my husband. Things like soaking up these last moments of being a family of three, the last time that Nolie will be our only.
Making me release every negative body thought and give them to God and ask for something different in return.
I am deciding that these thoughts aren’t worth it. Aren’t worth me. My worth has nothing to do with that number, praise God.
you are SO right:)
I love that you are in the battle every day! Thanks for struggling through it all and being open and vulnerable with me and God and your online community. You are a rock of a woman and you deserve so much praise for the work you are doing.
Also, I love Nolie’s little grasping monster hand in that one picture
We (you) are warriors!
~Dwight Schrutte
The number on the scale cannot tell you that you are beautiful. It can’t tell you that you are worthwhile. It certainly can’t tell you that you are a strong, thoughtful, compassionate, funny, joyful, powerful, loving, glorious creation of God and the Universe!
And yet…it can be so hard to keep that separation when negative thoughts start to creep in. (I’m working on this, too. Every day.) Acknowledge those negative thoughts, and then dismiss them. You have every reason to feel awesome about your body and your life!
Noelle recently posted..The Thin, Sharp Side
You look absolutly beautiful!! Being pregnant is hard enough without the whole “how much have you gained this week?” questions. I think we should just throw the scale out the window!
I just found your blog (on facebook, on the Bellingham birth center page, I think we even had the same midwives) and I love it. I had two (tramatic to me) hospital births and then with my third I had the natural birth I thought I would never be able to have. I had a great team behind me (midwives, doula and sister to help me work through all my fears) which I think makes such a HUGE difference. God bless you and your growing family!
You are running more…maybe you are keeping muscle this time around.
I hit a point in my pregnancy with Evie where I was heavier than when I delivered Alexander (and I had an extra 40 pounds of just water weight when I delivered him). As a petite person who was horrified at the number on the scales, I had to switch my focus too.
I felt better, I was healthier, and that *appropriate* weight gain was growing my beloved little girl to be healthy and hopefully full term (which we made it there!).
Keep your eyes on the prize. Healthier means baby is healthy. Fitter means your body is ready for the work of labor. Your body is beautiful because you are treating it right and it is doing its work of growing a healthy, beautiful baby girl! Trust it. Love it. Embrace it.
Just don’t get me started on my postpartum body.
I will learn to love this too eventually.